To all my amazing friends here on my blog. You have walked with me this year on the most difficult path I have ever taken. You have shared my joys and my most intimate tears, and from my heart I don't think I could have got through this year without you all. I know we have never met and only conversed here on my blog or by phone & email, but all of you that have left messages of comfort, love & hugs when my family needed it the most, I Thank You so much. Thank You, are just two little words, but at this time they are the biggest words I can send each of you with the biggest of hugs to go with them.
We are all having New Years Eve on our own. I would love to have spent it with Claire, Toby & Craig but realise Claire & Toby need this time to let go of 2016 to be able to reflect and remember, it's so difficult as I just want to hug them all. It's so hard having to stand back sometimes.
I have been sorting out my workroom as it looks like a bomb has hit it over the Christmas, not because of making things but storing things, and I just want it gone! I did treat myself to a few of Sue's dies over Christmas in the sales. It is my intention to make some cards in 2017, and again Paul has said, " If you don't use it you'll lose it " ( Yeh right!! ). So I have to get my backside into gear in 2017.
So finally, I think you are all amazing, and I would like to send each and everyone of you a heartfelt Thanks, Love, Health & Happiness for 2017, and maybe meet some of you this year at AP.
See you Soon
Tina XX
Saturday, 31 December 2016
Sunday, 25 December 2016
Christmas Wishes
Hello my loyal friends
Sorry it's not a card.
I could not let Christmas go without sending you all a big heartfelt Thank you for all of your support for us as a family through the most difficult year in our lives, I genuinely don't know how I would have coped without knowing that you were there for us. To just turn on my computer and see so many beautiful words when I needed to see a friendly message, you never let me down, Thank you so so much.
I would like to send you all good wishes for a wonderful Christmas and for us all to have a 2017 that brings us all Peace, health & happiness.
Love to you all & hope to see you all here next year. Love & Hugs
God Bless you all
Tina XX
Just a little Christmas game, it won't take too long. It's called spot the dog. Paul found this on his phone the other day.
I remember this day very well. We couldn't find her in the house, we knew she hadn't gone far. We went outside and called her, unknown to us she had curled up in one of the chairs, when we called her this little head popped up from her snooze. Little minx!!
I took Half Pint over the forest the other day when we had that thing called sunshine. She was amazed at all the animals that were out that day. Here's just a few.
Mum had her nose right in the window.
This one I had to show you. I have never seen a sheep with such unusual markings. This one had 2 black ears, 2 black eyes, a black nose and black and white stripey legs. I did try to get a close up but it was a bit camera shy.
Merry Christmas everyone & and a Happy New Year.XX
Sorry it's not a card.
I could not let Christmas go without sending you all a big heartfelt Thank you for all of your support for us as a family through the most difficult year in our lives, I genuinely don't know how I would have coped without knowing that you were there for us. To just turn on my computer and see so many beautiful words when I needed to see a friendly message, you never let me down, Thank you so so much.
I would like to send you all good wishes for a wonderful Christmas and for us all to have a 2017 that brings us all Peace, health & happiness.
Love to you all & hope to see you all here next year. Love & Hugs
God Bless you all
Tina XX
Just a little Christmas game, it won't take too long. It's called spot the dog. Paul found this on his phone the other day.
I remember this day very well. We couldn't find her in the house, we knew she hadn't gone far. We went outside and called her, unknown to us she had curled up in one of the chairs, when we called her this little head popped up from her snooze. Little minx!!
I took Half Pint over the forest the other day when we had that thing called sunshine. She was amazed at all the animals that were out that day. Here's just a few.
Mum had her nose right in the window.
This one I had to show you. I have never seen a sheep with such unusual markings. This one had 2 black ears, 2 black eyes, a black nose and black and white stripey legs. I did try to get a close up but it was a bit camera shy.
And finally, a Merry Christmas from Half Pint. XX
Merry Christmas everyone & and a Happy New Year.XX
Monday, 21 November 2016
Coooooo eeeeee, it's only me are you there
Hello my lovely patient friends
It's been a while, over a month in fact. I've been in a really sad place and couldn't find any way to talk here.
I had an absolutely fantastic day out with Claire & Evie Bear for an afternoon tea for my birthday, as you can tell from the photo's of the food and company ( I have to say we had tucked into the sandwiches before I thought I had better take some piccies ). Some children came in while we were eating and commented about Evie Bear with big smiles. After we had eaten we had a walk around the hotel, the rooms we came across were stunning the photo's just don't do them justice. We then walked for a while in the beautiful gardens of Rhinefield House and said we would definitely go back with the family and walk all of the grounds, After an afternoon tea of course!
I have spoken to a couple of you on the phone and you have cheered me up no end, Thank you, and some of you have emailed me and sent doggy hugs too. It has meant so much to me and I can only say I'm sorry that I haven't replied, I wanted to but when I sat in front of the computer the last thing you needed to hear was how down & sad I was, as some of you have been going through tough times too.
To Angela, Hazel,Wheely bad (T), Steph, Jeanie, Lynn, Myra, Maureen, Clare, "P in Wales", Wendy, Tracy, Norah & June, A big Thank you for all of your messages on my candle lighting blog. Such lovely and thoughtful words XX.
I have to say to June I had no idea you have been in hospital to have a knee op. I really hope you are on the mend and that you will be running the London marathon soon (Sorry), Seriously, sending you hugs X.
Myra Thank you for returning and wishing me Happy birthday X
SuzzieQ. Beautiful poem, I showed Claire and she cried and said she was/ is here and still is in so many special ways. Thank you X
Jane, Thank you for my musical birthday message on my phone. It made me chuckle. X
Steph, A huge Thank you for my beautiful flowers, like I told you they made me cry. They were stunning and my favourite sunshine colours.XX
T. I will write to you & Billy soon. Hugs X
Here are some Pictures of my afternoon tea with Claire & Evie Bear. Another very special memory made to treasure.
Everywhere we go we write Evelyn's name on a stone, a forest walk out of flowers or twigs and most of all on beaches in the sand so Evelyn travels with all the family and friends on our holidays. So far she has been to many states in America the great wall of China, and many places in the UK. We take photo's and send them to Claire & Toby. They can't believe how much everyone loves them and thinks of Evelyn everyday.
I saw a stamp on Becca Feeken's blog and thought I need this one for Evelyn. It reads
I Will Write Peace
on Your Wings
and You Will Fly
All Over the World.
I also finished a card. I'm not too happy with it though. Paul has said for many days now that I need to get back into making cards, something that makes you happy or he will think of closing the workroom down. So, I started this card on Friday, couldn't be arsed on Saturday and was told to finish it on Sunday. If I'd stretched it out over 7 day's I could have made a song like Craig David. So this is all my mojo could muster, my mind is mush, but it's a start.
Cooo eeeee, still here. Sorry it's been a long blog. Pillows & duvets available if needed. Hope you liked the pictures and the card. XX
Thank you all again for your patience with me.
love & hugs Always
Tina XX
It's been a while, over a month in fact. I've been in a really sad place and couldn't find any way to talk here.
I had an absolutely fantastic day out with Claire & Evie Bear for an afternoon tea for my birthday, as you can tell from the photo's of the food and company ( I have to say we had tucked into the sandwiches before I thought I had better take some piccies ). Some children came in while we were eating and commented about Evie Bear with big smiles. After we had eaten we had a walk around the hotel, the rooms we came across were stunning the photo's just don't do them justice. We then walked for a while in the beautiful gardens of Rhinefield House and said we would definitely go back with the family and walk all of the grounds, After an afternoon tea of course!
I have spoken to a couple of you on the phone and you have cheered me up no end, Thank you, and some of you have emailed me and sent doggy hugs too. It has meant so much to me and I can only say I'm sorry that I haven't replied, I wanted to but when I sat in front of the computer the last thing you needed to hear was how down & sad I was, as some of you have been going through tough times too.
To Angela, Hazel,Wheely bad (T), Steph, Jeanie, Lynn, Myra, Maureen, Clare, "P in Wales", Wendy, Tracy, Norah & June, A big Thank you for all of your messages on my candle lighting blog. Such lovely and thoughtful words XX.
I have to say to June I had no idea you have been in hospital to have a knee op. I really hope you are on the mend and that you will be running the London marathon soon (Sorry), Seriously, sending you hugs X.
Myra Thank you for returning and wishing me Happy birthday X
SuzzieQ. Beautiful poem, I showed Claire and she cried and said she was/ is here and still is in so many special ways. Thank you X
Jane, Thank you for my musical birthday message on my phone. It made me chuckle. X
Steph, A huge Thank you for my beautiful flowers, like I told you they made me cry. They were stunning and my favourite sunshine colours.XX
T. I will write to you & Billy soon. Hugs X
Here are some Pictures of my afternoon tea with Claire & Evie Bear. Another very special memory made to treasure.
Everywhere we go we write Evelyn's name on a stone, a forest walk out of flowers or twigs and most of all on beaches in the sand so Evelyn travels with all the family and friends on our holidays. So far she has been to many states in America the great wall of China, and many places in the UK. We take photo's and send them to Claire & Toby. They can't believe how much everyone loves them and thinks of Evelyn everyday.
I saw a stamp on Becca Feeken's blog and thought I need this one for Evelyn. It reads
I Will Write Peace
on Your Wings
and You Will Fly
All Over the World.
I also finished a card. I'm not too happy with it though. Paul has said for many days now that I need to get back into making cards, something that makes you happy or he will think of closing the workroom down. So, I started this card on Friday, couldn't be arsed on Saturday and was told to finish it on Sunday. If I'd stretched it out over 7 day's I could have made a song like Craig David. So this is all my mojo could muster, my mind is mush, but it's a start.
Cooo eeeee, still here. Sorry it's been a long blog. Pillows & duvets available if needed. Hope you liked the pictures and the card. XX
Thank you all again for your patience with me.
love & hugs Always
Tina XX
Sunday, 16 October 2016
15th October 2016
Hi my Friends
I thought I would share this very special day with you as you have all been such an amazing support for me and my family, and I can't put into words how much each and everyone of you have meant to me. Just to have you return when the news is still so sad and I'm so sorry for that. I don't mean to make you all feel so sad, but my goodness I'm so happy to know you are all still here.
Yesterday was Baby loss Awareness Day (15th October 2016 ). Claire made some fairies, they are so beautiful, all made by hand, I made my angels Claire also made some little angels out of beads and made choker necklaces with them, which are apparently back in fashion, and were all sold at a baby loss Awareness function that was held in the morning of the 15th October 2016, called " Eat cake for Kitty ". Yet another mummy who lost her baby. Claire was raising money to help refurbish the awful bereavement room at Winchester Hospital that she gave birth in and then, Claire & Toby both had to say goodbye to our grandchild. Claire has been involved in raising money for SANDS (Sudden And Neonatal Death Syndrome ) for the renovation of this much needed birthing & goodbye room and for all the poor mum's & dad's that are going to face that devastating loss in the future. With all Claire has to deal with everyday, I am so proud of her and all the other Angel mummy's & Daddy's past & present that are going through this most devastating time.
Thousands of Mummy's Daddy's, Grandparents, friends and followers, People lit a candle for " Baby Loss Awareness Day " yesterday. I shared these pictures with Claire and asked if I could share them with you all, and she said yes. Thank you darling Claire XX.
My brave little girl Claire that had the most beautiful Angel baby.xx
This is to support Baby Loss Awareness Day 15th October
This is a photo I treasure. In all their sadness Claire & Toby still found time to Dress there little girl with clothes they hoped she would wear. This is all the time they had to spend with Evelyn 48 hrs ending on Mothers day to tell her how much they love her and how much she had touched their lives.
The ornaments were a present that Claire bought me, a mother & daughter and then when she found out she was pregnant and was carrying Evelyn she bought me the Grandmother & Granddaughter figurine. I loved it so much for what our future was going to be, Claire Evelyn & me.
This is one of my last good bye's to our very special angel baby. I didn't want to let her go as I knew this was my last cuddle & I had to make it last for my lifetime.
I'm so sorry that mt blog is so so sad at the moment but I need to write about it or I think I will go insane. It's been 7 months and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel still. I can only see other families around me enjoying what we as a family should be enjoying and should be looking forward to.
Next Saturday I have big Birthday, and hoped I would be celebrating it with ALL my family. I know in some special way Evelyn will be here. I don't think even she will let me get away without some kind of ribbing for arriving at 60yrs. It's only a number after all. I Love you my beautiful angel baby girl.
If you are still here with me XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Thank you all for being here for me, lots of love always
Tina XX
I thought I would share this very special day with you as you have all been such an amazing support for me and my family, and I can't put into words how much each and everyone of you have meant to me. Just to have you return when the news is still so sad and I'm so sorry for that. I don't mean to make you all feel so sad, but my goodness I'm so happy to know you are all still here.
Yesterday was Baby loss Awareness Day (15th October 2016 ). Claire made some fairies, they are so beautiful, all made by hand, I made my angels Claire also made some little angels out of beads and made choker necklaces with them, which are apparently back in fashion, and were all sold at a baby loss Awareness function that was held in the morning of the 15th October 2016, called " Eat cake for Kitty ". Yet another mummy who lost her baby. Claire was raising money to help refurbish the awful bereavement room at Winchester Hospital that she gave birth in and then, Claire & Toby both had to say goodbye to our grandchild. Claire has been involved in raising money for SANDS (Sudden And Neonatal Death Syndrome ) for the renovation of this much needed birthing & goodbye room and for all the poor mum's & dad's that are going to face that devastating loss in the future. With all Claire has to deal with everyday, I am so proud of her and all the other Angel mummy's & Daddy's past & present that are going through this most devastating time.
Thousands of Mummy's Daddy's, Grandparents, friends and followers, People lit a candle for " Baby Loss Awareness Day " yesterday. I shared these pictures with Claire and asked if I could share them with you all, and she said yes. Thank you darling Claire XX.
My brave little girl Claire that had the most beautiful Angel baby.xx
This is a photo I treasure. In all their sadness Claire & Toby still found time to Dress there little girl with clothes they hoped she would wear. This is all the time they had to spend with Evelyn 48 hrs ending on Mothers day to tell her how much they love her and how much she had touched their lives.
The ornaments were a present that Claire bought me, a mother & daughter and then when she found out she was pregnant and was carrying Evelyn she bought me the Grandmother & Granddaughter figurine. I loved it so much for what our future was going to be, Claire Evelyn & me.
I Can't put into words how much I love my little Evelyn. She was the most perfect baby in every way and I cannot understand why she is not here with us all now.
This is one of my last good bye's to our very special angel baby. I didn't want to let her go as I knew this was my last cuddle & I had to make it last for my lifetime.
I'm so sorry that mt blog is so so sad at the moment but I need to write about it or I think I will go insane. It's been 7 months and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel still. I can only see other families around me enjoying what we as a family should be enjoying and should be looking forward to.
Next Saturday I have big Birthday, and hoped I would be celebrating it with ALL my family. I know in some special way Evelyn will be here. I don't think even she will let me get away without some kind of ribbing for arriving at 60yrs. It's only a number after all. I Love you my beautiful angel baby girl.
If you are still here with me XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Thank you all for being here for me, lots of love always
Tina XX
Thursday, 29 September 2016
Hi Friends
Hello Friends
I hope you are still with me, I know it's been a long time since my last blog. I have had some really bad days since we last spoke.
I think everything that has happened has finally caught up with me it's been really hard to deal with, and with my hospital visits still going on, even though they found no cancer they are now talking about a hysterectomy as I am still having side effects from the hysteroscopy it all seems too much. I have to go to hospital on Monday for a check up and talk about the results and the outcome, very nervous Hey ho, I will just have to deal with the results.
Months ago I promised to reveal my design team card that had to have everything to to do with Summer. I made a card of a Summer's afternoon sat outside under a tree with one of my cats ( like you do, well that's my idea of summer ). How naive! I didn't realise they wanted techniques, of which I didn't know any.I had only just started making cards and really had no idea of " techniques "
After very many helpful phone calls to Lancashire Steph and advice on different techniques she thought Creative Expressions might like, I eventually came up with the card that got me on the design team. I still wonder why Steph has not been snatched up to be on their design team. You were so patient with me Steph, X I am also embarressed
Anyway this was my interpretation of everything Summer.
After help from Lancashire Steph, I made this card. how different!
I thought I would share with you too. I have made some angels for Claire to sell at a SANDS fair to raise money for Sudden and Neonatal Death Syndrome. I made one angel, then Claire said could you make me at least 10 to sell. I did try to make them when we were away in our new caravan last week, but chilled out too much, sorry!. I started a card too but didn't take everything I needed to finish it, so that is to follow soon. Anyway in between time I hope you like my angel.
Sheila, Myra, & T I did receive your emails. I did reply but didn't hear anything back. Like I said in my reply outlook has changed and I don't know if I had replied and sent a message as it is all so different. I'm sorry if you didn't get a reply. I haven't forgotten you all.
There are so many messages I need to reply to, and as much as you think about me, I also think about you all and what you are all going through. Forgive me for not being able to reply to you, but I really do think about you all.
On Saturday I am doing an afternoon tea for Macmillan in memory of Anthea. We couldn't do the Friday coffee morning as Paul couldn't get the time off work, so we thought we would do an afternoon tea on the 1st of October so the hubbies could come too. I have been baking with vengeance, so I hope all goes well. I will take some photo's to share with you. Fingers crossed we raise some money for Macmillan as Anthea's mum can't praise them enough. She is hoping to come up with Jake on Saturday, but if not she is going to bring Jake up to see us in half term.
Well, that's all I have to share for now, but promise I will be in contact soon and hope I will finish the flowers for the card I started on holiday and will post soon. I realised how much I have missed making my flowers this past week.
Missed you all
Tina XX
I hope you are still with me, I know it's been a long time since my last blog. I have had some really bad days since we last spoke.
I think everything that has happened has finally caught up with me it's been really hard to deal with, and with my hospital visits still going on, even though they found no cancer they are now talking about a hysterectomy as I am still having side effects from the hysteroscopy it all seems too much. I have to go to hospital on Monday for a check up and talk about the results and the outcome, very nervous Hey ho, I will just have to deal with the results.
Months ago I promised to reveal my design team card that had to have everything to to do with Summer. I made a card of a Summer's afternoon sat outside under a tree with one of my cats ( like you do, well that's my idea of summer ). How naive! I didn't realise they wanted techniques, of which I didn't know any.I had only just started making cards and really had no idea of " techniques "
After very many helpful phone calls to Lancashire Steph and advice on different techniques she thought Creative Expressions might like, I eventually came up with the card that got me on the design team. I still wonder why Steph has not been snatched up to be on their design team. You were so patient with me Steph, X I am also embarressed
Anyway this was my interpretation of everything Summer.
After help from Lancashire Steph, I made this card. how different!
I thought I would share with you too. I have made some angels for Claire to sell at a SANDS fair to raise money for Sudden and Neonatal Death Syndrome. I made one angel, then Claire said could you make me at least 10 to sell. I did try to make them when we were away in our new caravan last week, but chilled out too much, sorry!. I started a card too but didn't take everything I needed to finish it, so that is to follow soon. Anyway in between time I hope you like my angel.
Sheila, Myra, & T I did receive your emails. I did reply but didn't hear anything back. Like I said in my reply outlook has changed and I don't know if I had replied and sent a message as it is all so different. I'm sorry if you didn't get a reply. I haven't forgotten you all.
There are so many messages I need to reply to, and as much as you think about me, I also think about you all and what you are all going through. Forgive me for not being able to reply to you, but I really do think about you all.
On Saturday I am doing an afternoon tea for Macmillan in memory of Anthea. We couldn't do the Friday coffee morning as Paul couldn't get the time off work, so we thought we would do an afternoon tea on the 1st of October so the hubbies could come too. I have been baking with vengeance, so I hope all goes well. I will take some photo's to share with you. Fingers crossed we raise some money for Macmillan as Anthea's mum can't praise them enough. She is hoping to come up with Jake on Saturday, but if not she is going to bring Jake up to see us in half term.
Well, that's all I have to share for now, but promise I will be in contact soon and hope I will finish the flowers for the card I started on holiday and will post soon. I realised how much I have missed making my flowers this past week.
Missed you all
Tina XX
Tuesday, 9 August 2016
RESULTS
Hi Friends
THANK YOU for keeping everything crossed, and for all the best wishes sent my way. I'm sooo pleased they all worked. The results came back, no Hyperplasia or Malignancy found in the Biopsy. Because the previous year results came back as abnormal cells they feel I have to have another scan in 6 months and if that is fine they will discharge me. I can't put into words how relieved I am. I can now start to look forward without this dark cloud hanging over me. I think I am so, so Lucky. Thank You all. XX
This is just one of the fluffy cuddles ( Half Pint ) I have had throughout my hospital time. If I can keep the cats from running around enough to take a photo I will post those pictures of them too.
Big Hugs Always
Tina XX
THANK YOU for keeping everything crossed, and for all the best wishes sent my way. I'm sooo pleased they all worked. The results came back, no Hyperplasia or Malignancy found in the Biopsy. Because the previous year results came back as abnormal cells they feel I have to have another scan in 6 months and if that is fine they will discharge me. I can't put into words how relieved I am. I can now start to look forward without this dark cloud hanging over me. I think I am so, so Lucky. Thank You all. XX
This is just one of the fluffy cuddles ( Half Pint ) I have had throughout my hospital time. If I can keep the cats from running around enough to take a photo I will post those pictures of them too.
Big Hugs Always
Tina XX
Monday, 8 August 2016
The Long awaited Daffodil Tutorial
before I post the tutorial I would like to thank you all for your positive thoughts and best wishes for a good results after my biopsy's. On the 27th July I had to go back to the hospital for a check up from last years health scare. I had a couple of scans and then had a consultation with the specialist who said it looked like the abnormal cells had grown slightly and that she would like to do a biopsy there and then. I got taken into a room where she took 2 biopsy's and said that she would like me to have a more in depth biopsy under a general. On the 28th July I had a phone call from the hospital asking if I could go in on Monday 1st August. I just panicked thinking they had found something. I arrived at the hospital 12.30pm and eventually went down about 3.30pm. When I came round, they said they couldn't find me a bed and that they would just send me home straight away. At this point I couldn't even lift my arms let alone walk out. Day surgery then rang through and said they had a spare bed for me, so my bed was pulled out into a corridor where my bed was attached to little motorized cart and was driven over to the other side of the hospital. It was like the dodgems, if he hit one wall he must have hit a dozen. It was the most uncomfortable 10 minute ride I've ever had,we went from one side of the hospital to the other but the nurse that had to walk along side me had a wicked sense of humor and didn't let him get away with any knock into the walls, doors or dodging pedestrians, and also a ride in a lift too, at first the lift wouldn't move and I panicked and said I need to get out. I can't stand lifts. I was so glad the whole procedure was over I think I would have let him drive me all the way home with that little cart, that would have been a sight to see, me laying in bed a nurse running beside me and this young trainee doctor dodging the cars on the Salisbury bypass. Oh and with a big umbrella to boot as it was chucking it down. It would have looked like a Carry on Film. Stick with me girls I could show you a fun time, what do you reckon!
Regarding the tutorial, I was going to take a few more pictures of the finished flower, but yesterday Paul's brother and his wife came over for some drinks and eats and Liz asked if I had done any crafting lately. I said not since I made Claire and Toby's 2nd Anniversary card, and that the card was all about daffodil's, when I posted Claire & Toby's card I was asked if in time would do a tutorial for the daffodil. Which I did, and for months I only had to put narration to the pictures but never found the energy to do that, sorry!
Liz ( sister in law ) asked if she could see the daffodil, so I went to my workroom to get the said flower. I went out to the garden with replenished glasses of wine and said to Liz, this is the flower that is going on my blog tomorrow. She looked at it and said how pretty it was, then opened her handbag and said to Ellie dog. I'll put this in my handbag before you stand on it and crush it. I shall keep this with all my other cards you have made for me. Paul said my face was a picture as he thought she just wanted to see the flower and not take it home. I wanted to say Nooooo, but she seemed so happy to take that little daffodil home I didn't have the heart to say I still need it. So I hope I have taken enough pics for this tutorial. Later in conversations they both admitted that their hearing is really bad lately. so it makes it even more special that she thought I had made that flower for her.
Here Goes!
At this point my lovely friends, I would like to say a very very big heartfelt thank you to you all for sharing some of the saddest and darkest days of our lives. You have cried with me sent endless hugs and never ending love. Your support over the last 5 months has been constant, to me that is called true friendship and I love each and everyone of you for still being here for us. Thank you is just not enough but it truly comes from my heart.xx
Big Hugs
Tina XX
Thursday, 4 August 2016
At Peace At Last
RIP Beautiful Anthea. XX
Yesterday, 03-08-2016 Anthea was finally laid to rest in a beautiful cemetery on a hill in Strood after a beautiful Greek orthodox service. It's so hard to think that she will never grace our lives again with her beautiful face, her laugh that would carry across the house that would bring a smile to everyones face knowing Claire had shared yet another special moment with Anthea. This was a very special lady that came into our lives and allowed us to share her son with us, who we love very much.
Claire took on board what many of you lovely ladies said to do, and made Jake a beautiful scrapbook of all our special times together, and Jake absolutely loved it. Thank you X. She sat with Jake after the funeral and looked at the pictures, but he has yet to read the words. In time he will. He has asked to see Claire again soon, so hopefully we can get together again soon.
It was a very long day for Claire Craig & Paul. They left at 8am and Paul got in at 8pm. I was so sad that I couldn't go to the funeral, and felt so bad, only to watch the clock at every step of Anthea's goodbye. Timing of things have been so bad for us all. I had a couple of procedures on Monday in Salisbury hospital, and only got home at 6pm that evening. Talk about bad timing. I did get ready on Wednesday morning to go to Kent, but Paul said no way!. It's a 3 hour journey there a 2 hours service standing, the wake, and then 3 hours home. I felt I had let Claire down as I really wanted to be there for her, but Paul said he would make sure she was OK. I spoke to Claire when she got home, I cried with her and said I was so sorry not to be there when she needed me, and she said it was too soon after your op mum and Anthea would have understood too.
I have only wonderful memories of Anthea, and all the intense and funny conversations we had, weeks days & literally just hours before you slipped away from us. My goodness Anthea, these words are not good enough to tell you how much we love you and how much we will miss you always.
God Bless & Keep you Safe Sweetheart.XX
Thank you all so much again for your patience.
Big Big Hugs & Love
Tina XX
Thursday, 14 July 2016
A TEARY THANK YOU & A SAD GOODNIGHT TO A BEAUTIFUL GIRL
Hi Ladies/ Friends
I really wanted to write to each of you to say a personal Thank you for your beautiful messages after my Summer died, but every time I read them I cried some more. I do Thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart, you really are very special people and I think I'm very lucky to have you as my blog friends XX. Thank you again.
I would really have love to end this message with good news, but sadly bad news has tapped us on the shoulder again. Some of you already know of this news as you have read Claire's blog. Anthea, Claire's chief bridesmaid was diagnosed with a tumor just after Claire & Toby's wedding. I remember her asking me throughout the day for pain killers, but she never let on to Claire as she didn't want to ruin her big day. Just weeks later she was told she had cancer. She fought an incredible fight with the relentless and aggressive treatment. After her last lot of chemo she had a scan and it was fantastic news she had beaten it. At Claire's baby shower Anthea was in so much pain around her shoulder blade and Jake & I took it in turns to rub her back. She said she had been to the doctors and asked to have an X ray on her return home. She was told that a part of her old tumor had traveled and had gone to her lung, she also had two tumors in her lower back and one in her chest and was told very sadly that it was terminal. We were all so shocked and so sad. Immediately Anthea said she was going to fight again. She was given new drugs and started even more relentless chemo and radiotherapy. After months and months of treatment she had a scan and was told that it was working and the tumors had all shrunk. That she will always need treatment, but she had been given TIME.
On the 4th July Anthea was rushed into hospital struggling to breath. They said she had an infection and was given high doses of antibiotics and oxygen to help her breath and said they would keep her over night for observation. She even rang me Friday early evening from her hospital bed to say that she had ordered Claire a couple of skirts for Toby's brother's wedding on the 23rd of July as Claire still doesn't like to go out shopping yet. She sent me pictures of them and said what do you think of this dress too. By the time I opened the link she said "too late I've ordered that too" and said she will have them sent to Claire. We talked for about half an hour about silly things and had a real giggle with each other. She said to me that I wasn't to worry, that she was going to be fine and would see us all in a couple of weeks. So I said "goodnight, And I love you " and she said night night, I love you too aunty T. Just hours later she was in ICU her temperature had spiked and we were told she had pneumonia, and that she had been heavily sedated and was on a life support machine as she could no longer breath for herself. Claire and Toby went to see her Saturday and to support Andrea ( Anthea's mum ). They were told that there was some improvement and things were looking better.
Sunday evening I got a teary call from Claire to ask if I would drive her to Kent on Monday as Anthea was really poorly again. We sat all day stroking her arms and talking to her. Claire took Evie bear with her and laid Evie beside Anthea and said your Goddaughter is here to meet you. It was heartbreaking to see Claire go through yet another sadness in such a short time from the loss of her baby girl.
We drove 3hrs home in silence, both stunned and praying for a miracle. Paul drove Claire back to the hospital on Tuesday.
Andrea was told on Monday evening that there was nothing more they could do for Anthea as she had multiple cysts in her lungs. The specialists said that it was cruel to keep her in this state and advised Andrea to turn off the life support machine. Which they did, and Anthea died at 4 O'clock on the 5th July.
How BLOODY unfair, to have fought so so hard, and was beating the cancer into submission only to be taken from us with Pneumonia.
As yet we haven't heard when the funeral is, but it's going to be a very very sad day. It's going to be so hard to watch Jake say goodbye to his mum.
Rest in Peace beautiful Anthea XX.
I don't wish sadness on anyone, but I just wish it would just leave us alone now.
Sending you all much love & happiness
Tina XX
I really wanted to write to each of you to say a personal Thank you for your beautiful messages after my Summer died, but every time I read them I cried some more. I do Thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart, you really are very special people and I think I'm very lucky to have you as my blog friends XX. Thank you again.
I would really have love to end this message with good news, but sadly bad news has tapped us on the shoulder again. Some of you already know of this news as you have read Claire's blog. Anthea, Claire's chief bridesmaid was diagnosed with a tumor just after Claire & Toby's wedding. I remember her asking me throughout the day for pain killers, but she never let on to Claire as she didn't want to ruin her big day. Just weeks later she was told she had cancer. She fought an incredible fight with the relentless and aggressive treatment. After her last lot of chemo she had a scan and it was fantastic news she had beaten it. At Claire's baby shower Anthea was in so much pain around her shoulder blade and Jake & I took it in turns to rub her back. She said she had been to the doctors and asked to have an X ray on her return home. She was told that a part of her old tumor had traveled and had gone to her lung, she also had two tumors in her lower back and one in her chest and was told very sadly that it was terminal. We were all so shocked and so sad. Immediately Anthea said she was going to fight again. She was given new drugs and started even more relentless chemo and radiotherapy. After months and months of treatment she had a scan and was told that it was working and the tumors had all shrunk. That she will always need treatment, but she had been given TIME.
On the 4th July Anthea was rushed into hospital struggling to breath. They said she had an infection and was given high doses of antibiotics and oxygen to help her breath and said they would keep her over night for observation. She even rang me Friday early evening from her hospital bed to say that she had ordered Claire a couple of skirts for Toby's brother's wedding on the 23rd of July as Claire still doesn't like to go out shopping yet. She sent me pictures of them and said what do you think of this dress too. By the time I opened the link she said "too late I've ordered that too" and said she will have them sent to Claire. We talked for about half an hour about silly things and had a real giggle with each other. She said to me that I wasn't to worry, that she was going to be fine and would see us all in a couple of weeks. So I said "goodnight, And I love you " and she said night night, I love you too aunty T. Just hours later she was in ICU her temperature had spiked and we were told she had pneumonia, and that she had been heavily sedated and was on a life support machine as she could no longer breath for herself. Claire and Toby went to see her Saturday and to support Andrea ( Anthea's mum ). They were told that there was some improvement and things were looking better.
Sunday evening I got a teary call from Claire to ask if I would drive her to Kent on Monday as Anthea was really poorly again. We sat all day stroking her arms and talking to her. Claire took Evie bear with her and laid Evie beside Anthea and said your Goddaughter is here to meet you. It was heartbreaking to see Claire go through yet another sadness in such a short time from the loss of her baby girl.
We drove 3hrs home in silence, both stunned and praying for a miracle. Paul drove Claire back to the hospital on Tuesday.
Andrea was told on Monday evening that there was nothing more they could do for Anthea as she had multiple cysts in her lungs. The specialists said that it was cruel to keep her in this state and advised Andrea to turn off the life support machine. Which they did, and Anthea died at 4 O'clock on the 5th July.
How BLOODY unfair, to have fought so so hard, and was beating the cancer into submission only to be taken from us with Pneumonia.
As yet we haven't heard when the funeral is, but it's going to be a very very sad day. It's going to be so hard to watch Jake say goodbye to his mum.
Rest in Peace beautiful Anthea XX.
I don't wish sadness on anyone, but I just wish it would just leave us alone now.
Sending you all much love & happiness
Tina XX
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
SUMMER
I'm so sorry to post yet another sad blog, but I feel this little lady deserved a mention. This little puss cat, and she was little, she was the runt of a litter and never really grew to full size but my goodness she had the heart of a lion. she was my special furry friend and we had a very special bond. I have 3 other younger cats who I adore but there was always something special about Summer. Whenever we went away in the caravan she knew and would be so sad when I goodbye, but I'll be home soon. Luckily Claire & Craig lived at home so they made an extra big fuss of her. After Claire's wedding and blessing 2 years ago, we were so Knackered (sorry), we booked to go and see our friends in Yorkshire for a week to recuperate. Summer sensed that we were going away and was poorly shortly after we left. I hugged her and said " I love you mummy girl, and I'll be back soon ". We went to Yorkshire on the 6th June 2014 and had a phone call from Craig late that night to say Summer was really poorly. We got up very early on the 7th June and drove home. I couldn't believe what I saw. Summer looked near deaths door. The vet said all she could think was that she pined for me. I fed her with a syringe of high protein food and in 5 days she looked beautiful and almost back to normal again and this was the picture I took of her. Didn't she look good at nearly 18. I can't tell you how happy I was. Paul & I sat in the garden every evening just cuddling her in my dressing gown. I said to Paul I'm not going to go away again all the while Summer is with us, and I didn't.
2 years and one day to the day after I drove home from Yorkshire, my beautiful devoted furry friend lost her fight with old age on the 8th June 2016. She was going into her 20th year bless her. I sat up with her and held her paw till her last breath.
I miss her so much and she too has left a big hole in my life. She has now been laid to rest under our beautiful pear tree along with all our other puss cats we've loved & lost . Paul says we should think ourselves lucky that we had nearly 20 years of love cuddles and endless purrs with her, I do, but I wanted more, bless her.
I know a lot of you followed Summers recovery 2 years ago. I think I have been so lucky to have had her for all that extra time. What a beautiful little trouper.
1997-2016
I Miss you Sum X
2 years and one day to the day after I drove home from Yorkshire, my beautiful devoted furry friend lost her fight with old age on the 8th June 2016. She was going into her 20th year bless her. I sat up with her and held her paw till her last breath.
I miss her so much and she too has left a big hole in my life. She has now been laid to rest under our beautiful pear tree along with all our other puss cats we've loved & lost . Paul says we should think ourselves lucky that we had nearly 20 years of love cuddles and endless purrs with her, I do, but I wanted more, bless her.
I know a lot of you followed Summers recovery 2 years ago. I think I have been so lucky to have had her for all that extra time. What a beautiful little trouper.
1997-2016
I Miss you Sum X
Friday, 3 June 2016
Nothing But Time
Hi Everyone
This post has nothing to do with cards or a tutorial as promised but I will post the daffodil tutorial over the weekend.
With this post I would like to share with you all a blog Claire has started of her own. These thoughts have been going around in her head and she felt she needed to put down on paper, so as to speak, to let people know that Evie arrived for such a brief time but made such a big impact.
I know I am biased but I think Claire has written a most beautiful, moving and a heart wrenching post.
You can find Claire's first post titled " Nothing but time " by clicking the link below :-
www.evelynkatieward.wordpress.com
This post has nothing to do with cards or a tutorial as promised but I will post the daffodil tutorial over the weekend.
With this post I would like to share with you all a blog Claire has started of her own. These thoughts have been going around in her head and she felt she needed to put down on paper, so as to speak, to let people know that Evie arrived for such a brief time but made such a big impact.
I know I am biased but I think Claire has written a most beautiful, moving and a heart wrenching post.
You can find Claire's first post titled " Nothing but time " by clicking the link below :-
www.evelynkatieward.wordpress.com
Sunday, 22 May 2016
Hello Friends
Gosh it's been a while, I have missed you all so very much. Although crafting has been the last thing on my mind I have missed that too, but I've missed just chatting to you all.
I thank each and everyone of you for all your thoughts prayers and messages that you have sent for Claire and Toby and us as a family. We were so surprised and saddened to hear that we are not the only ones that have gone through losing a baby/ babies, and my heart goes out to you all, it doesn't matter how long ago it happened they are still your baby's and so sad they are memories to hold and to cherish.
I have not been in here for a while as Claire has had a complete breakdown and poor Toby is hanging on by a thread. We are all so scared he's going to break soon. When Evie was born he had only been at his new job for 2 months- ish and was still on the probation period. Although they were so pleased with his work before he took time off to grieve, when he went back they started the probation all over again and are putting so much pressure on him and he's not coping at all well as he is so worried about Claire and, keeping a roof over their heads if they decide not to keep him on, it's so unfair. I can't believe a time when a couple have been dealt such a sad ordeal, and as parents you want totake the pain away and make everything better, but we can't. We have never felt so useless. We go over Claire's everyday on shifts. Erica (MIL) goes over most mornings, I go over from 12-5pm and Paul does 5-7pm until Toby gets home. Our life pattern is so different now and we are all so so tired.
The inlaws are away on holiday this week in Portugal, and Paul is away too, for work, so it is just me Claire and Toby. Claire has some wonderful friends that I can call on if I need a break. I also need to get back home for the little addition to Drakes Field Cards, it's our little " Half pint " aka Ellie. She is coming up to 10 months old and is knee high to a grass hopper but has a Great dane size of love to give. I found her on the Blue cross web site and fell in love immediately. In between seeing Claire, I went to see Ellie everyday for 2 weeks for an hour or so every day, so that we could get to know each other before all the paperwork was finalized and we could bring her home, we even got Claire out of the house to meet Ellie one day, and it was love at first sight. this little bundle has just snuggled into our family life, even although she is going through the terrible 2's at the moment and wants to chew everything. It might end up me taking her to the dentist to have her teeth out, ( not really )! Ellie has eaten a lot of my crafting items. When I have given in and had a snooze in my workroom chair thinking she was sound asleep on my lap, only to wake up to roses, boxes, and even a plug chewed to pieces. So pleased I'm paranoid about electricity and it was turned off. needless to say we have lifted everything off of the floor now.
Enough about me now. I would love to know what you have all been doing while I have been away. I need to try and get back into some kind of routine. We have been told we all need to plan a daily thing to achieve and a weekly thing to achieve. I can only think of crafting, but need some umpf to do it. I did make Claire and Toby an anniversary card as you can see, and I sat up all night to make it as Paul said I couldn't buy them one they would appreciate one of yours more. So this is what I came up with, as Claire now associates daffodils with Evelyn, because it was Mothers day the last day they spent with Evie in the hospital, and the nurses sent Claire a vase of daffodils and a message from Evie. Heart braking for them both.
This teddy is a 1/3 of the side of her, but she insists on taking it out for a walk or a wee. it's so cute to see her carrying it around with her.
I just wanted to call in and say hello to you all as you have all been so kind with your thoughts and prayers. I think there is still a long way to go, but knowing you are all here really is a blessing. Thank you all so Much from the bottom of my heart.
I will be back soon,I feel I need to.
Much love to all of you, and thank you for being here for us, I can't put into words how much you all mean to me. XXXX
The Biggest Hugs Always
Tina XX
I thank each and everyone of you for all your thoughts prayers and messages that you have sent for Claire and Toby and us as a family. We were so surprised and saddened to hear that we are not the only ones that have gone through losing a baby/ babies, and my heart goes out to you all, it doesn't matter how long ago it happened they are still your baby's and so sad they are memories to hold and to cherish.
I have not been in here for a while as Claire has had a complete breakdown and poor Toby is hanging on by a thread. We are all so scared he's going to break soon. When Evie was born he had only been at his new job for 2 months- ish and was still on the probation period. Although they were so pleased with his work before he took time off to grieve, when he went back they started the probation all over again and are putting so much pressure on him and he's not coping at all well as he is so worried about Claire and, keeping a roof over their heads if they decide not to keep him on, it's so unfair. I can't believe a time when a couple have been dealt such a sad ordeal, and as parents you want totake the pain away and make everything better, but we can't. We have never felt so useless. We go over Claire's everyday on shifts. Erica (MIL) goes over most mornings, I go over from 12-5pm and Paul does 5-7pm until Toby gets home. Our life pattern is so different now and we are all so so tired.
The inlaws are away on holiday this week in Portugal, and Paul is away too, for work, so it is just me Claire and Toby. Claire has some wonderful friends that I can call on if I need a break. I also need to get back home for the little addition to Drakes Field Cards, it's our little " Half pint " aka Ellie. She is coming up to 10 months old and is knee high to a grass hopper but has a Great dane size of love to give. I found her on the Blue cross web site and fell in love immediately. In between seeing Claire, I went to see Ellie everyday for 2 weeks for an hour or so every day, so that we could get to know each other before all the paperwork was finalized and we could bring her home, we even got Claire out of the house to meet Ellie one day, and it was love at first sight. this little bundle has just snuggled into our family life, even although she is going through the terrible 2's at the moment and wants to chew everything. It might end up me taking her to the dentist to have her teeth out, ( not really )! Ellie has eaten a lot of my crafting items. When I have given in and had a snooze in my workroom chair thinking she was sound asleep on my lap, only to wake up to roses, boxes, and even a plug chewed to pieces. So pleased I'm paranoid about electricity and it was turned off. needless to say we have lifted everything off of the floor now.
Enough about me now. I would love to know what you have all been doing while I have been away. I need to try and get back into some kind of routine. We have been told we all need to plan a daily thing to achieve and a weekly thing to achieve. I can only think of crafting, but need some umpf to do it. I did make Claire and Toby an anniversary card as you can see, and I sat up all night to make it as Paul said I couldn't buy them one they would appreciate one of yours more. So this is what I came up with, as Claire now associates daffodils with Evelyn, because it was Mothers day the last day they spent with Evie in the hospital, and the nurses sent Claire a vase of daffodils and a message from Evie. Heart braking for them both.
I just wanted to call in and say hello to you all as you have all been so kind with your thoughts and prayers. I think there is still a long way to go, but knowing you are all here really is a blessing. Thank you all so Much from the bottom of my heart.
I will be back soon,I feel I need to.
Much love to all of you, and thank you for being here for us, I can't put into words how much you all mean to me. XXXX
The Biggest Hugs Always
Tina XX
Saturday, 9 April 2016
Hoping You are Still There
Hello Lovely Ladies.
I really have to give each and everyone of you a personal THANK YOU!
Yorksbutterfly- Wendy
Tracey Stitt
Hazel
Maureen Killen
Nannapat
Lorraine JefferisRob!-Robyn
Ms Linda
Nancyd
Nattyboots
June Smith
Sheila
Gingernuts
Lynda
Lorraine McNeil
Lynn Dalby
Crafty Clare
SuzzieQ
Myra
Jeanie
Tres
Denise T
Mary- from Durham
Patricia Littlejohns
Maria Illsley
Jan from Long Island
'P' in Wales
Norah
Beth Queen
Angela UK
Pam Hackett
TOB
Sassy
Karenlotty
Wheelybad T and Billy x
Rose in Chester
Jane B
Sue Wilson
And my Voice over the past weeks- Stephanie Cotterill, aka- Boss, you've been fantastic.
Like you all, you didn't know what to say, and I feel the same now. Anything I say tonight will not be enough to express how much your wonderful thoughts, words & prayers have given us comfort, and I can only say a big heartfelt thank you to everyone of you.
We looked forward so much to our Granddaughters arrival and in no way imagined Evie's arrival would be a "born sleeping birth".
We have had really sad days since Evie's birth, and Claire and Toby have needed all our strength. We have sobbed, got angry and such unbelievable feelings of disbelief that this has happened can't be put into words.
Claire, Paul & myself have spent many days in tears, visiting them both, and bless him, Toby, has remained so strong for us all. we are all concerned for him as he hasn't let all his feelings out yet.
On Mother's day they had to say goodbye to Evie, and Claire and Toby went home from the hospital with a vase of Daffodils from Evie saying "To mummy Happy mothers day, with Love from Evelyn XX". My heart broke for them, and I can't understand how they got through that day, as I went home with 2 healthy babies when I gave birth and Claire and Toby went home without their little bundle of joy, just the little rabbit they had bought for her, and the books they had read to her.
They then had to wait for nearly 3 weeks to see Evie again after the autopsy. When they were told Evelyn was back with the funeral directors just down the road from them, they felt less anxious as in the past weeks they didn't know where their baby was. They went to see Evie everyday in the chapel of rest and held her, and told her how much they loved her and would always love her.
Evelyn's funeral was on the 31st March at 10.45am. Paul Craig & I arrived early and Paul went for a walk around the gardens and I stayed with Craig. Mum & Dad in- law along with Toby's brother and fiance arrived shortly afterwards. 4 midwives from the hospital also came. Claire knew 2 were coming, but they were so in awe of Claire & Toby, they asked later if they could also come as they had also been at the birth of Evie.
My Claire Bear & Toby were amazing on the day we said goodnight to our beautiful baby girl. All the beautiful flowers that were sent were arranged around the glass table Evie was to be laid on. All the chairs were arranged so that we cuddled little Evie. we walked in behind Claire and Toby as they carried their little baby girl together in a tiny little white coffin, and the music they chose was (The Swan) by Camille Saint-Saens, from Swan Lake, the ballet that Claire & I went to in February, I was in pieces when I heard this piece of music. A memory Claire And I will always share.
Peter, the Lay Preacher was very emotional as he had spent time with Toby & Claire before the goodnight day. We had the greeting from Peter and then words from Claire and Toby.
Claire read her letter that she had written to Evelyn. It started from the day she took her pregnancy test, to the day she was born sleeping and all her feelings afterwards. I was so proud of her. She had lots of tearful pauses, but my goodness my girl did what she set out to do for Evelyn. I squeezed her hand so tight . Then Toby got up and read a most heartbreaking poem. We all tried to be so strong for them, but we were all in pieces. These two beautiful people had just said goodnight to their stunningly beautiful daughter, and did it with such dignity, we were all so overwhelmed with love and pride for Claire & Toby
We then had a photo gallery of Evelyn and while these were being shown a Kris Kristofferson song called "From here and to Forever". A Country and Western song they used to play and Evie moved a lot while it was playing when in mummy's tummy and also brought back memories of their honeymoon in Texas. Evie seemed to enjoy Country music. A very moving moment. I can't put into words.
Then Peter ( Lay Preacher) read a poem, "I'm Always here"
Then to blow us all away, Claire & Toby found the strength to read a book together that they had read to Evie in bed after she was born called. "Guess How Much I Love you". Tears flowed in puddles, but they put every bit of strength they had together to make it a happy story. I cannot even now, weeks later say how proud I am of them both, and how beautifully they said goodnight to their baby girl and our beautiful little granddaughter Evelyn. They even had a miniature copy of the book made for everyone and was given to us to follow in the order of service and for a keepsake in Evelyn's memory.
We all went up and kissed our little Evie's sleeping cot and said our goodnight's, while the final song playing for Evelyn was HELLO by Adele.
Evelyn is now at home with Claire & Toby. They bought a teddy from the funeral directors, and Evie's ashes have been placed in the pocket at the back of the bear. It's such a cute bear too and is cuddled constantly.
We thought we would have wonderful news to share with you all. this is not how anyone would have imagined things would have turned out and I hope I never hear of anything so painful again.
Bare with me please, I am trying to finish the card I had started for Evie's arrival, but can't muster any enthusiasm. But Claire has said that Daffodils will always remind her of Evelyn. So I am redoing my Evie Card. I had made roses, but now I am making Daffodils. I hope you will allow me to share it with you soon.
Again. A Big, Big Heartfelt Thank You's from Claire, Toby, Myself , Paul & Craig
Tina XX
PS:- Myra, I feel so awful. Today I went back to make sure I had thanked everyone, only to see I had missed your name when turning the paper to carry on making the list of people to thank. Please forgive me , I would not have left you out intentionally, ever. x
I really have to give each and everyone of you a personal THANK YOU!
Yorksbutterfly- Wendy
Tracey Stitt
Hazel
Maureen Killen
Nannapat
Lorraine JefferisRob!-Robyn
Ms Linda
Nancyd
Nattyboots
June Smith
Sheila
Gingernuts
Lynda
Lorraine McNeil
Lynn Dalby
Crafty Clare
SuzzieQ
Myra
Jeanie
Tres
Denise T
Mary- from Durham
Patricia Littlejohns
Maria Illsley
Jan from Long Island
'P' in Wales
Norah
Beth Queen
Angela UK
Pam Hackett
TOB
Sassy
Karenlotty
Wheelybad T and Billy x
Rose in Chester
Jane B
Sue Wilson
And my Voice over the past weeks- Stephanie Cotterill, aka- Boss, you've been fantastic.
Like you all, you didn't know what to say, and I feel the same now. Anything I say tonight will not be enough to express how much your wonderful thoughts, words & prayers have given us comfort, and I can only say a big heartfelt thank you to everyone of you.
We looked forward so much to our Granddaughters arrival and in no way imagined Evie's arrival would be a "born sleeping birth".
We have had really sad days since Evie's birth, and Claire and Toby have needed all our strength. We have sobbed, got angry and such unbelievable feelings of disbelief that this has happened can't be put into words.
Claire, Paul & myself have spent many days in tears, visiting them both, and bless him, Toby, has remained so strong for us all. we are all concerned for him as he hasn't let all his feelings out yet.
On Mother's day they had to say goodbye to Evie, and Claire and Toby went home from the hospital with a vase of Daffodils from Evie saying "To mummy Happy mothers day, with Love from Evelyn XX". My heart broke for them, and I can't understand how they got through that day, as I went home with 2 healthy babies when I gave birth and Claire and Toby went home without their little bundle of joy, just the little rabbit they had bought for her, and the books they had read to her.
They then had to wait for nearly 3 weeks to see Evie again after the autopsy. When they were told Evelyn was back with the funeral directors just down the road from them, they felt less anxious as in the past weeks they didn't know where their baby was. They went to see Evie everyday in the chapel of rest and held her, and told her how much they loved her and would always love her.
Evelyn's funeral was on the 31st March at 10.45am. Paul Craig & I arrived early and Paul went for a walk around the gardens and I stayed with Craig. Mum & Dad in- law along with Toby's brother and fiance arrived shortly afterwards. 4 midwives from the hospital also came. Claire knew 2 were coming, but they were so in awe of Claire & Toby, they asked later if they could also come as they had also been at the birth of Evie.
My Claire Bear & Toby were amazing on the day we said goodnight to our beautiful baby girl. All the beautiful flowers that were sent were arranged around the glass table Evie was to be laid on. All the chairs were arranged so that we cuddled little Evie. we walked in behind Claire and Toby as they carried their little baby girl together in a tiny little white coffin, and the music they chose was (The Swan) by Camille Saint-Saens, from Swan Lake, the ballet that Claire & I went to in February, I was in pieces when I heard this piece of music. A memory Claire And I will always share.
Peter, the Lay Preacher was very emotional as he had spent time with Toby & Claire before the goodnight day. We had the greeting from Peter and then words from Claire and Toby.
Claire read her letter that she had written to Evelyn. It started from the day she took her pregnancy test, to the day she was born sleeping and all her feelings afterwards. I was so proud of her. She had lots of tearful pauses, but my goodness my girl did what she set out to do for Evelyn. I squeezed her hand so tight . Then Toby got up and read a most heartbreaking poem. We all tried to be so strong for them, but we were all in pieces. These two beautiful people had just said goodnight to their stunningly beautiful daughter, and did it with such dignity, we were all so overwhelmed with love and pride for Claire & Toby
We then had a photo gallery of Evelyn and while these were being shown a Kris Kristofferson song called "From here and to Forever". A Country and Western song they used to play and Evie moved a lot while it was playing when in mummy's tummy and also brought back memories of their honeymoon in Texas. Evie seemed to enjoy Country music. A very moving moment. I can't put into words.
Then Peter ( Lay Preacher) read a poem, "I'm Always here"
Then to blow us all away, Claire & Toby found the strength to read a book together that they had read to Evie in bed after she was born called. "Guess How Much I Love you". Tears flowed in puddles, but they put every bit of strength they had together to make it a happy story. I cannot even now, weeks later say how proud I am of them both, and how beautifully they said goodnight to their baby girl and our beautiful little granddaughter Evelyn. They even had a miniature copy of the book made for everyone and was given to us to follow in the order of service and for a keepsake in Evelyn's memory.
We all went up and kissed our little Evie's sleeping cot and said our goodnight's, while the final song playing for Evelyn was HELLO by Adele.
Evelyn is now at home with Claire & Toby. They bought a teddy from the funeral directors, and Evie's ashes have been placed in the pocket at the back of the bear. It's such a cute bear too and is cuddled constantly.
We thought we would have wonderful news to share with you all. this is not how anyone would have imagined things would have turned out and I hope I never hear of anything so painful again.
Bare with me please, I am trying to finish the card I had started for Evie's arrival, but can't muster any enthusiasm. But Claire has said that Daffodils will always remind her of Evelyn. So I am redoing my Evie Card. I had made roses, but now I am making Daffodils. I hope you will allow me to share it with you soon.
Again. A Big, Big Heartfelt Thank You's from Claire, Toby, Myself , Paul & Craig
Tina XX
PS:- Myra, I feel so awful. Today I went back to make sure I had thanked everyone, only to see I had missed your name when turning the paper to carry on making the list of people to thank. Please forgive me , I would not have left you out intentionally, ever. x
Friday, 4 March 2016
Our Beautiful Granddaughter
Hello to all my lovely blog friends.
I'm absolutely devastated to pass this news on to you lovely ladies that have been here for me, through all Claire's highs & lows and all the pains during her pregnancy and looking forward to the day of our beautiful Granddaughters birth, only to give you the most saddest news ever.
Claire rang us on Tuesday morning to say that she hadn't felt the baby move, and that she had had the best nights sleep in all of her pregnancy. We rushed over and the mid wife was called. When she used her monitor she couldn't find a heartbeat so Claire was rushed to hospital. We followed in our car, by the time we got there Claire had had the scan and we were taken into a side room and were told our little granddaughter's heart was no longer beating. Claire also had a fall that same morning, but they later said it wasn't due to the fall.
We sat with Claire on Tuesday and Wednesday. All the while we were with her she was holding and stroking her bump and saying she loved her so much, such a hard thing to watch, and nothing I could do would ever make it better. Thursday morning they induced her. She went into full labour about 4.40pm and Paul & I went home earlier in the day as they only have the father and staff at the birth. We had a phone call from Toby at 11.45 last night (Thursday) to say that Claire had been an absolute star and had delivered her little baby girl. All night they laid in bed with their baby girl reading her Winnie the Pooh stories, and today while we were there they were showing her photo's of her nursery and her playmate Figaro( the cat ) and all her little toys. My heart is just breaking for them.
Evelyn ( Evie ), Katie Ward was born at 22.22pm on 03-03-2016 weighing 7lb 7oz
Today (Friday) we went to meet our Granddaughter. She was perfect in every way. She has Blue eyes the cutest, tinniest little nose I have ever seen and tiny little pixie ears and exactly the same shaped mouth as Claire with beautiful auburn hair. I held her for a long time not wanting to let her go. Claire took some photo's of us holding our little bundle, Claire has been so very brave, and it's been Claire and Toby that have been comforting us. bless them. We need to pull ourselves together now as they are going to need our strength more than ever when they leave the hospital tonight without little Evie. Oh! I can't put into words how we are feeling, and doubt I ever can.
So I'm sending you all an over whelming Thank you, to all of you who have been here supporting us, you are very, very special people to me, and I Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Big Hugs Always
Tina XX
I'm absolutely devastated to pass this news on to you lovely ladies that have been here for me, through all Claire's highs & lows and all the pains during her pregnancy and looking forward to the day of our beautiful Granddaughters birth, only to give you the most saddest news ever.
Claire rang us on Tuesday morning to say that she hadn't felt the baby move, and that she had had the best nights sleep in all of her pregnancy. We rushed over and the mid wife was called. When she used her monitor she couldn't find a heartbeat so Claire was rushed to hospital. We followed in our car, by the time we got there Claire had had the scan and we were taken into a side room and were told our little granddaughter's heart was no longer beating. Claire also had a fall that same morning, but they later said it wasn't due to the fall.
We sat with Claire on Tuesday and Wednesday. All the while we were with her she was holding and stroking her bump and saying she loved her so much, such a hard thing to watch, and nothing I could do would ever make it better. Thursday morning they induced her. She went into full labour about 4.40pm and Paul & I went home earlier in the day as they only have the father and staff at the birth. We had a phone call from Toby at 11.45 last night (Thursday) to say that Claire had been an absolute star and had delivered her little baby girl. All night they laid in bed with their baby girl reading her Winnie the Pooh stories, and today while we were there they were showing her photo's of her nursery and her playmate Figaro( the cat ) and all her little toys. My heart is just breaking for them.
Evelyn ( Evie ), Katie Ward was born at 22.22pm on 03-03-2016 weighing 7lb 7oz
Today (Friday) we went to meet our Granddaughter. She was perfect in every way. She has Blue eyes the cutest, tinniest little nose I have ever seen and tiny little pixie ears and exactly the same shaped mouth as Claire with beautiful auburn hair. I held her for a long time not wanting to let her go. Claire took some photo's of us holding our little bundle, Claire has been so very brave, and it's been Claire and Toby that have been comforting us. bless them. We need to pull ourselves together now as they are going to need our strength more than ever when they leave the hospital tonight without little Evie. Oh! I can't put into words how we are feeling, and doubt I ever can.
So I'm sending you all an over whelming Thank you, to all of you who have been here supporting us, you are very, very special people to me, and I Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Big Hugs Always
Tina XX
Tuesday, 1 March 2016
SMILE
Good Tuesday Morning Everyone
WELL! I spent the day with Claire Bear ( Monday ) and took her to the see her midwives. My goodness have they changed since I had Claire & Craig. They made us laugh so much. They even said to Claire to do the time warp dance to jiggy things on, and they demonstrated it together. I asked If I could book them for the birth, and asked if they were available for parties. Such Lovely ladies. The surgery was so quiet except for this one room. When we came out there were people that said it sounded like you were having a good time and had a big smile when they saw Claire, and there were people that had faces like like a Robbers Dog.
It's now Tuesday. The big day!!!. I was going to cook her some more meals to put in her freezer, but I think I will just go over and spend some more time with her and the bump. Claire's craving's have been for Brie, Pate & French Stick, and she has not been allowed to have any of these, and has also longed for a glass of Rioja. So I went to the wholesalers before I went over Claire's, and bought her some mini Brie's & little party parcels of Pate and a bottle of Rioja, french stick to follow fresh to order. Something for her to look forward to. She's not going to get them until 1/2 pint is here.
I have my clothes laid out ready and waiting.. When we get the call you won't see our backside's for dust. Watch this space, not for our backsides cause that would be wrong!, but for some long awaited good news. Hopefully, this week!. I will be able to give you all the details of our little girl's, and how they are both doing.
Oh, I nearly forgot, this my card this week, hope you like it!
Hope you liked it!
Products Used:-
8X8 Anna Marie Card
Create & Craft- Mirri Card- Gold
Embossalicious Embossing Folder- Vintage Floral Collection
Sue Wilson-Frames &Tags- Dainty Rectangular Frame
Sue Wilson- Frames & Tags- Tessa
Sue Wilson- Caribbean Island Collection- St Lucia
Sue Wilson- Finishing Touches- Laurel Leaves
Phil Martins- Sparkle Texture Paste- Graceful Pink
Creative Expressions- Diamond Sprinkles
Creative Expressions- Dazzlers
Tim Holtz- Distress Ink- Worn Lipstick, Tattered Rose
Memory Box- Leavenworth Butterfly Trio- the Smallest one
Lyndsay Mason Designs- Personal Impressions- Code:- PICSA6441
The gross grain ribbon is from a beautiful bouquet of flowers Anthea bought me when they stayed here with her mum & son at the baby shower.
Same time, same place next week!.
WELL! I spent the day with Claire Bear ( Monday ) and took her to the see her midwives. My goodness have they changed since I had Claire & Craig. They made us laugh so much. They even said to Claire to do the time warp dance to jiggy things on, and they demonstrated it together. I asked If I could book them for the birth, and asked if they were available for parties. Such Lovely ladies. The surgery was so quiet except for this one room. When we came out there were people that said it sounded like you were having a good time and had a big smile when they saw Claire, and there were people that had faces like like a Robbers Dog.
It's now Tuesday. The big day!!!. I was going to cook her some more meals to put in her freezer, but I think I will just go over and spend some more time with her and the bump. Claire's craving's have been for Brie, Pate & French Stick, and she has not been allowed to have any of these, and has also longed for a glass of Rioja. So I went to the wholesalers before I went over Claire's, and bought her some mini Brie's & little party parcels of Pate and a bottle of Rioja, french stick to follow fresh to order. Something for her to look forward to. She's not going to get them until 1/2 pint is here.
I have my clothes laid out ready and waiting.. When we get the call you won't see our backside's for dust. Watch this space, not for our backsides cause that would be wrong!, but for some long awaited good news. Hopefully, this week!. I will be able to give you all the details of our little girl's, and how they are both doing.
Oh, I nearly forgot, this my card this week, hope you like it!
Hope you liked it!
Products Used:-
8X8 Anna Marie Card
Create & Craft- Mirri Card- Gold
Embossalicious Embossing Folder- Vintage Floral Collection
Sue Wilson-Frames &Tags- Dainty Rectangular Frame
Sue Wilson- Frames & Tags- Tessa
Sue Wilson- Caribbean Island Collection- St Lucia
Sue Wilson- Finishing Touches- Laurel Leaves
Phil Martins- Sparkle Texture Paste- Graceful Pink
Creative Expressions- Diamond Sprinkles
Creative Expressions- Dazzlers
Tim Holtz- Distress Ink- Worn Lipstick, Tattered Rose
Memory Box- Leavenworth Butterfly Trio- the Smallest one
Lyndsay Mason Designs- Personal Impressions- Code:- PICSA6441
The gross grain ribbon is from a beautiful bouquet of flowers Anthea bought me when they stayed here with her mum & son at the baby shower.
Same time, same place next week!.
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