A TEARY THANK YOU & A SAD GOODNIGHT TO A BEAUTIFUL GIRL

Hi Ladies/ Friends

I really wanted to write to each of you to say a personal Thank you for your beautiful messages after my Summer died, but every time I read them I cried some more. I do Thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart, you really are very special people and I think I'm very lucky to have you as my blog friends XX. Thank you again.

I would really have love to end this message with good news, but sadly bad news has tapped us on the shoulder again. Some of you already know of this news as you have read Claire's blog. Anthea, Claire's chief bridesmaid was diagnosed with a tumor just after Claire & Toby's wedding. I remember her asking me throughout the day for pain killers, but she never let on to Claire as she didn't want to ruin her big day. Just weeks later she was told she had cancer. She fought an incredible fight with the relentless and aggressive treatment. After her last lot of chemo she had a scan and it was fantastic news she had beaten it. At Claire's baby shower Anthea was in so much pain around her shoulder blade and Jake & I took it in turns to rub her back. She said she had been to the doctors and asked to have an X ray on her return home. She was told that a part of her old tumor had traveled and had gone to her lung, she also had two tumors in her lower back and one in her chest and was told very sadly that it was terminal. We were all so shocked and so sad. Immediately Anthea said she was going to fight again. She was given new drugs and started even more relentless chemo and radiotherapy. After months and months of treatment she had a scan and was told that it was working and the tumors had all shrunk. That she will always need treatment, but she had been given TIME.

On the 4th July Anthea was rushed into hospital struggling to breath. They said she had an infection and was given high doses of antibiotics and oxygen to help her breath and said they would keep her over night for observation. She even rang me Friday early evening from her hospital bed to say that she had ordered Claire a couple of skirts for Toby's brother's wedding on the 23rd of July as Claire still doesn't like to go out shopping yet. She sent me pictures of them and said what do you think of this dress too. By the time I opened the link she said "too late I've ordered that too" and said she will have them sent to Claire. We talked for about half an hour about silly things and had a real giggle with each other. She said to me that I wasn't to worry, that she was going to be fine and would see us all in a couple of weeks. So I said  "goodnight, And I love you " and she said night night, I love you too aunty T. Just hours later she was in ICU her temperature had spiked and we were told she had pneumonia, and that she had been heavily sedated and was on a life support machine as she could no longer breath for herself. Claire and Toby went to see her Saturday and to support Andrea ( Anthea's mum ). They were told that there was some improvement and things were looking better.

Sunday evening I got a teary call from Claire to ask if I would drive her to Kent on Monday as Anthea was really poorly again. We sat all day stroking her arms and talking to her. Claire took Evie bear with her and laid Evie beside Anthea and said your Goddaughter is here to meet you. It was heartbreaking to see Claire go through yet another sadness in such a short time from the loss of her baby girl.

We drove 3hrs home in silence, both stunned and praying for a miracle. Paul drove Claire back to the hospital on Tuesday.

Andrea was told on Monday evening that there was nothing more they could do for Anthea as she had multiple cysts in her lungs. The specialists said that it was cruel to keep her in this state and advised Andrea to turn off the life support machine. Which they did, and Anthea died at 4 O'clock on the 5th July.

How BLOODY unfair, to have fought so so hard, and was beating the cancer into submission only to be taken from us with Pneumonia.

As yet we haven't heard when the funeral is, but it's going to be a very very sad day. It's going to be so hard to watch Jake say goodbye to his mum.

Rest in Peace beautiful Anthea XX.

I don't wish sadness on anyone, but I just wish it would just leave us alone now.

Sending you all much love & happiness

Tina XX