Hi My Friends
Yesterday 4 years ago was one of the most devastating days in my life, we were informed that our awaited granddaughter had passed away in her mummy's tummy. Just the day before I had heard her little heart beating. We got the most upsetting phone call from Claire to say that she couldn't feel Evelyn moving after the best nights sleep she had had throughout her pregnancy, Evelyn had passed away overnight for no reason. Our little grandchild was gone.
We all went to Winchester hospital awaiting hope that the midwife had got it wrong and that by some miracle her monitor had a fault.
Paul was parking the car and Erica & Myself were taken into a room, I thought then this does not feel good as they did that when at 22 I heard that my mum had passed away just seconds before I tried to run into her ward.
I remember a senior nurse talking to me & Erica but I just wanted to get out of that room as I knew the news was not going to be what I wanted to hear. I remember hearing Erica scream. I remember getting out of that room and later hearing Paul's voice and we just sobbed. We both knew that day that we had not only lost our beautiful granddaughter but we lost our daughter too, or the daughter she was before losing Evelyn. I watched her holding Evelyn in her tummy rocking and telling her how much she loved her and as a mum you are expected to make things good again ,but I just sat watching the pain on my beautiful girl's face knowing that I couldn't take her pain away and that she would never be the same again.
At 22.22pm 03-03-16 7lb 7oz Evelyn came quietly into the world. I will raise a glass to my beautiful little Angel and to my very brave daughter & her husband that had to go through the most saddest & devastating time together. Words fail me at this point.
I wanted to post Evelyn's card today on her birthday but just couldn't. We are having a celebration of Evelyn day on Saturday so I will post it on Sunday.
To my beautiful Evelyn, Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweetheart.
Love & Hugs
Tina XX
With love and hugs to you all
ReplyDeletegodbless jeanie xxxx
Bless you Jeanie, that means so much.
ReplyDeleteLots of love and hugs to you too.
Tina XX
Hello Tina!
ReplyDeleteI know I’ve been missing but I will try to put that right. I too remember that day but of course it didn’t directly affect me. You as a family have come through this . It must have seemed insurmountable at the beginning. A day you will never ever forget . A precious child you will never ever forget either.
Just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and I will be in touch! Promise!
It wasn’t funny at the time but a squirrel got in my attack and chewed through a pipe! Alarm went off at 4am. That’s when you realise the buck stops here! All is well now and sense of humour is just fine!
God bless you all, my dear,
Love Myra xx
In my attic not attack!! I was better off without spell check! X
ReplyDeleteHi Myra
ReplyDeleteHow the devil are you, well I hope!
I know I have not been as active on the blog or emails as I should and feel really bad about that but have a lot of hospital activity and waiting for results and just totally pi--ed of with the whole NHS and the private side let us waste a morning waiting for results only to be told he was on holiday as it was his special birthday. Well I know where I would have liked to have shoved the candles on his cake and it wasn't into his fondant icing.
Those little critters that you see in your garden are so cute and we are all so pleased feed them,and then they repay you by living in your loft and doing damage. 2/3 yrs ago we had rats in our loft. I laid awake night after night listening to them running up inside the double brick work and in the loft over the bed and Paul telling me they can't get in to us. I rang the pest control around and replaced all our fascia's and guttering replaced and luckily the little begger's have jogged on.I guess that's country life, but the worse side, Hey Ho! all sorted. I can't imagine what went through your mind at the time other than S#1t I have to deal with this, what did you do?. Really pleased you were able to laugh about it though.I really hope you are Ok and I can't find Maureen's email when Paul tried to repair my memory ( on the computer )I hope she is well too.
I'm off to cook a late dinner as Paul has said he was working late but stopping off in the Phoenis pub in Romsey for a pint.
Talk soon Myra
Love & hugs
Tina XX
I can't read that without breaking my heart all over again. I remember your phone call I remember us both sobbing I remember I wanted to hold you so tight and take your pain away but all I could do was sob with you. Sorry, I can't xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteOh Steph, I've just cried with you again reading this message remembering that call. We had a bad day with Claire yesterday and had to drop everything and just hug her. We have another really bad day looming and I'm really not looking forward to it. They say that time heals but at the moment It just makes me realise how many days that last cuddle with Evelyn is having to console me but it's not working. I'm being selfish and just want as many cuddles from Evelyn as I get from my beautiful little man Phoenix.
ReplyDeleteLove you Boss
Tina XX
Selfish doesn't play any part in this. I know you don't think you've been strong and I know you've had days when you don't want to belong but hearing your mum's words from the past plus other reason means I still have you in my life. Claire does need you regardless of past discussions, you and Paul are much more important than those we've spoken about. Personally I wouldn't have got through what you've gone through and I know the next hurdle to get through will be awful for you and your family - claire Toby you and Paul, Craig and although Phoenix knows about his big sister he won't understand completely but the day will come when he'll understand the extent of the sadness felt and you can tell him all about her and how gorgeous she was and how pretty she is as she looks after him from afar. I think you're pretty amazing Tina but don't hold in your grief you know I have massive ears and if nothing else I'll cry with you love. In my heart in my thoughts and I'm so grateful to have you in my life xxxx
ReplyDeleteDITTO! XX
ReplyDelete