Saturday, 25 November 2017

Phoenix & Christmas Card

Hi My  Friends

Can you believe I forgot to press publish last night (this morning) and only managed to get to the computer now 10.20pm ish as Craig and  Pia came for lunch and ended up staying longer. What a lovely day!!.

I've put a couple of photo's of Phoenix here for you as you have all been sooo wonderful I thought you would love to see my beautiful grandson, well I am biased. He is less than 24hrs old in these pictures. Every time I see him he changes. I spent Friday afternoon with Claire & Phoenix having his bath and a weigh in with the midwife. He was born 7lbs lost a little as they do and now weighs in at a healthy 8.1lbs, he's doing really well.

I have so much pride for our beautiful Evelyn, and what  has been achieved in her memory, and now she has become a big sister to her beautiful brother Phoenix. This will be yet another different Christmas for us as a family this year, I really don't want any pressie's to open just many many big cuddles with Phoenix and celebrating Evelyn's wonderful achievements we are very very proud grand parents.

This is my 1st Christmas card this year. It's surprising what you can achieve when you are in a very happy place. I have wanted so many times to make a card for my blog this past 21 months and look at it and think that's a Tina card again.

I don't even know if this is a Tina card as It's been so long, but I have to say I have loved getting back into my workroom to make cards as opposed to just shutting myself away in my safe little space called my workroom. My room has been my sanctuary. When the most devastating things going on every day, testing me to my last ounce of sanity having to watch my family going through something so beyond my control. The tears I have shed in my room in the early hours when everyone was sound asleep, I'm surprised our home wasn't flooded time & time again.

I Sat up one night  thinking of Christmas cards a bit like tonight (24th Nov) and it's now 3.20am. Earlier this evening I thought I need to start making my Christmas cards and start to get get back to some kind of normality. If you call 3.20am normal, so I made this card . I am going to make the same style but with different embellishments. So I hope you like my 1st one. I need to go now and cuddle Half Pint  (My little puppy dog ) and get some shut eye, so I will say night night & sleep tight.XX

Be back again soon

 Here Goes!!

Hope you like it.

Love & hugs

Tina XX

PS. I'm sorry I didn't reply on my last blog post but had big problems with my computer. Steph, the animals are little buttons and I found them at  Forest babies, Stuffed with love (teddies), Out foxed and Hop Hop.  Thank you for all your lovely comments, thoughts and prayers for us as a family and for Claire Toby & Phoenix. Also little hugs but lots of them from Half Pint to Billy (((x)))

Tuesday, 21 November 2017

My Gorgeous Grandsons pressie's & card

Hi my friends

We have had a very busy couple of weeks as you can imagine. I can't believe Phoenix will be 2 weeks old today. Paul has taken time off so we can go and see Phoenix as often as we can but we have also managed to do lots of jobs around the house too, including cutting a new door way into our loft via the landing so that I can gain access to the Christmas dec's as I really can't do a vertical ladder to get them down. When we cut the opening through and the plaster board fell towards me, my goodness I think I ran faster than the spiders, talk about arachnophobia, I needed more than a tener lady I needed a toddler pampers. I can now walk in to get the dec's out, but would like a stun gun for spiders. I won't kill one but they've got to learn to maintain a respectful distance, if not I'll SCREAM!.

Paul &  I would love to say a really really big Thank You to you all for your never ending thoughts & prayers, Cards, Presents & flowers. You are such amazing friends. Here are some amazing gifts sent to our home, you really are so special.XX

Excuse my untidy workroom new lighting issues going on in here too.

Grandma's Emergency Bag

Duck for bathing, sailing boats, several forks and spoons, bibs, cups plates & bowls towel ans plastic mat. I'm totally set up to feed my man now.

 Beautiful flowers for Claire & Toby, and for the proud Grand parents.X

Here is my Little man's card I made. We got caught short so they haven't had it for too long. That's why I have only just posted the card. hope you like it. I would have done so many things so different with the layers. Hey Ho! too late, I really didn't want to change it so late down the line. I hope they like it!.

Hera goes.

Thank you all again for all your support through the most difficult time we have had to go through with one of our children. I have poured my heart out to you all and you have been here for me & my family even though I know it has been so difficult for some of you. Bless You.

Talk Soon, Take care

Love & Hugs to All

Tina XX


Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Fantastic News

 Hi Blog Friends

Just had to let you all know our Grandson arrived safely yesterday, albeit early. Claire had been booked in for Monday 13th Nov to be induced at 38 weeks. I saw her on Monday and my goodness he must have had a growing spurt over the weekend Claire was HUGE!. She said we are on count down now mum, 7 day's to go.

I told her to go and sit down and I'd make her and the workers lunch. She asked if I would make her a bacon, cheese with my homemade pickle in a roll and on the 3 bite Claire said look at my tummy. Bean as I new him then was moving so much, I laughed and said he likes my pickle. Claire said whenever she ate sweet things he always seems to move a lot.

I had a phone call yesterday about 3 ish, she said don't panic mum I'm ok but my waters broke about 2.20pm and that she was on her way to hospital to be monitored. She went into full labour and he was born at 6.20pm, 4 hours later. He weighs in at 7lb, born 7th Nov 2017 and his name is Phoenix Evan Ward. We love the name because of the meaning behind it. We managed to see him for just 5 mins last night and he is absolutely stunning. We can't go in again until tonight as I have a hospital appointment, so I'm hoping to have some cuddles and photo's then. If Claire will allow it I'll ask if I can put a photo of him here either tonight or tomorrow. If not please don't be offended, I have a feeling this little man is going to be very protected.

 I can only say A big Thank You to you all for all your prayers and kindness for the safe arrival of our very special 2nd Grandchild. I wish I could thank you all in person, SuzzieQ that would be quite a trip wouldn't it.

Thank you so much again, Lots of Love & Hugs

Tina XX

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Light a candle

Hi Blog friends

I was hoping to get this on my blog earlier hoping that you could have taken part, only if you wanted to though.

This week has been Baby Loss Awareness Week 9-15th October. On the 15th October people around the world light a candle at 7pm for all the babies lost during pregnancy and after giving birth. The lighting of the candles on the 15th is called the Wave of Light. I lit mine briefly early this morning 0.05am just to show you my most treasured picture of Evelyn & me having a lifetime hugs and kisses, and the little star candle that is lit everyday for our little star.

This day the 15th October is for all the Angel babies. If you don't visit my blog straight away, maybe sometime just light a candle and think of our beautiful Evelyn.

Thank you X

 Sending you all love & hugs to my amazing blog friends. XX

Tina XX

Friday, 8 September 2017

Onwards & Upwards

Hi my blog friends

This is just a quickie to let you know I have had my operation. It was booked for the 7th Sept but they rang me on the 17th Aug and said any chance you could come in on Monday 21 Aug. I jumped at the chance, well as much as you could to have an op, I was really scared but thought that's another couple of week to recuperate before our little man arrives and I want to be so fit for his arrival so that I can be there for Claire. Claire & Craig have been wonderful.

I thought I was going in for a partial hysterectomy, but when the anesthetist came to see me he asked just to confirm do you know what you are having done. I told him and he said that's not what is in your records so we need to get your surgeon here to see you. When she arrived she said that in the morning get together to talk over all the ops they had decided to do a full hysterectomy because when all this started I had abnormalities and because in a 20 span I could possibly go on to have cancer they made a decision that morning to take it all away. She asked if I was ok with this. I was a bit shocked and looked at Paul. He said he thought it was the best idea as going under every 6 months is not healthy. I agreed and the surgeon said someone will be along to walk you to surgery. She literally walked away and a minute or so later someone came to walk me down. I had absolutely no time to think about it although apparently I did fight to go to sleep, I did think sod the gas give me a big brandy & babycham and what seemed like minutes, I was being woken up. I should have gone to a surgical ward  for the remainder of my recovery but my op took longer than they thought and in the meantime emergencies came in and took my place in the ward so my bed was attached to a motorised cart and was driven to the other side of the hospital and placed in the daycare ward. I had 2 ob's done one when I got to the ward and one before I left the next day. I remember looking at the clock with the mask on my face and it was 11 O'clock am when I went under, I got back to the ward just gone 4pm and discharged and back home  just gone 3pm the next day less than 24hrsback in the ward after major surgery. on leaving the hospital I wasn't offered a wheelchair after being told for the next couple of days I wasn't to walk, only to the bathroom & back to bed, I then walked through two wards down 2 flights of stairs. By this time I was in tears. A lovely receptionist came over and asked if I was ok and when Paul told her that I had just had major surgery she was fuming, she phoned the ward and demanded that I had a wheelchair. They were so busy Paul left me and went back up on the ward for a chair. He wheeled me out to a bus shelter, took the chair back to the ward then went to get the car to take me home.I seemed to be doing ok but on the Sunday I felt really poorly, Bank holiday Monday I had to go back in. My stitches inside had become infected and I had a UTI too. I've finished my course of antibiotics now, so It has to be onwards & upwards now. I still have bad days and know when I have over done things so I am learning to take notice of my body, but everyday I'm getting there.

Anyway it's all over now and I am on the mend. I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing Claire & Craig while recuperating.

Claire is blooming but finding it hard to keep her anxieties under control, but has a super network of people to contact if she needs it.

Maureen Thank you so much for my beautiful card, can I have your permission to put it on my blog but most of all the photo of me on the box you sent the card in. X

Also Thank you for your emails asking if we are all ok, you really are very special ladies. X

Will talk soon

Love & Hugs

Tina XX

PS-:  Paul just said, you call that a quickie.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

I'm so sorry it's been so long.

Hello to everyone that still takes the time to pop in here. Lovely to see you again, and I'm so sorry it's been so long.

Claire has given me permission to tell my friends our fantastic news that Claire & Toby are expecting another baby. They were over for a family Bar B Q on Sunday and I asked if I could announce our happy news, and she said yes. Claire is just over 20 weeks and she looks beautiful.

Anxieties are our major hard to deal with times at the moment, and there have been quite a few and mad car rides have been done. luckily they have all turned out to be normal, but it's a just a manic journey that needs to be done.

Claire told us back on Easter Sunday after our afternoon tea at Rhinefield House. They had gone away on an all inclusive holiday to Morocco and a few weeks after their return Claire felt really poorly, after saying it couldn't be anything she had eaten she did the" P" test and low and behold we have another grandchild on the way. We are sooooo elated I just can't put it into words, but just a warning when booking a fully inclusive holiday this year, check the small print for all inclusive!! you may come back with an unexpected pressie. I tried booking an all inclusive last week, and was told to try old farts fantasy holidays. ( Sounds good to me )!!

I'm just Bias, but doesn't she look beautiful. OH! and by the way it's a little man.

We are so happy, and so worried and jump every time the phone rings. Our little man is due in November but they are going to induce her about 3 weeks earlier due to her anxieties, so maybe late October early November. Watch this space!!.

On a totally different note I still have not had my Hysterectomy. After the 8 wk deadline I rang only to find out that my surgeon had left and I had been put on another surgeons waiting list. I met her on the 4th July, she is lovely. I had my pre op assessment and the 17th July was mentioned but no paperwork has arrived so I guess it's not going ahead. I'm dreading the op but it would be nice after the op with all this wonderful sunshine to wear some white trousers instead of my winter blacks. Small price to pay as I have a wonderful bundle to look forward to later in the year.

Thank you so much if you are one of the very special people that return to my blog  All I can say is, I really do appreciate you looking in and for all your support. XX

Massive big happy hugs to you all


Tina XX  

If you return, I thank you so much.

Saturday, 18 March 2017

My little make for my little Evelyn

Hi my friends.

This heart was meant to be given to Claire at Evelyn's party, but after my op I couldn't sit in my workroom too long to finish it. So I thought I would give it to her & Toby when they got home from their holiday in Morocco.

I was just going to make daffodils on the heart, but thought I would try and make forget-me-nots too. I found an old punch of little flowers that had gone in the throw me out box after buying new storage draws for my workroom. It made me look at my punches again, but still throwing loads.

This make was very therapeutic and I really enjoyed every minute of making it. I'm hoping Claire might keep this in Evelyn's nursery but if she chooses to take it to Evelyn's garden at the crematorium I will need to glaze every inch of it and try and make it rabbit and dear proof as they eat everything. They have eaten all the Christmas roses that I placed there, but they're not that keen on hyacinth's and daffodils, paper ones not sure off though.

On the 1st April  Claire & another mummy loss angel are doing a mad hatters tea party in their local community centre, It's also so called Forget-me-not, and it's all for Cancer & for a charity called Aching Arms. Aching Arms is a charity that donates teddy bears to Mummies & Daddies that have to walk out of hospital with empty arms and only a memory box. Claire said that was the hardest thing she ever had to do was to walk out of the hospital past all the wards with new mum's & dad's and crying babies and she just had a box of photo's and hand & foot moulds. Claire got sent an Aching Arms teddy when she got home and I was sent one too. So we make a point of donating every month and teddies are donated to another family that has just lost their precious baby and it's sent from Evelyn Katie Ward. We have also donated more bears to go into the new bereavement room from Evelyn when they finally ok the colour scheme so hopefully we can get started decorating soon, fingers crossed!!. Goodness knows what room they are using now, but the room Claire & Toby were in was very run down.

The teddies are no replacement, but you leave with something special in your arms from another family that understands what you are going through, or even for a sibling that was expecting to walk out with a brother or sister. Apparently younger siblings understand more about what happened when you tell them about the bear, and why they were given this very special bear.

I thought I would share with you a photo of our special bear.

Here Goes with my little make for Evelyn x

hope you like it!

I thought I would let you know how I got on with the results. I rang the doctors and the hospital on Monday 13th the doctor had no info about my procedure at all, but was willing to give me some results of a bowel test that I had never had, so who on earth had their results in my records. It's really scarey. The hospital told me that they are running 3 weeks late in typing op results, but was told I'm sure if there was something wrong you would have heard by now.

To my surprise on Thursday I had a call from my surgeon. Even though I had rung the doctors & the hospital asking for advice about still having problems and basically getting fobbed off over the last 6 months and was told everything will settle down soon. She was really taken aback, and said that I need to make an appointment to discuss my options with her soon. Had my recent op not been cancelled I could have told her what was still going on and she would have probably told me there and then what needed to happen 3 weeks ago. The surgeon that did my op was not aware of what was still on going as she hadn't read my previous notes, only what needed doing that day.

On Thursday my surgeon said she had just received the results from the surgeon who did my op.  She said I needed to talk to Paul over the weekend about the 3 options she had given me, but other than a hysterectomy the other 2 will leave me a bit vulnerable. I have to ring on Monday and make an appointment to see her and she said she will go through all 3 options step by step.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, what ever you do have a good one.

Love & Hugs

Tina XX